Kentucky: Meats Pizza in Louisville

Are you keeping track? I said Charleston was next. I (unintentionally) lied.

Ladies, listen up… As most of you may already know… at some point, you might lose your mind and do something ridiculous. This was new experience for me, but 48 hours ago, that is indeed what I did.

This past Monday, I came home from Wisconsin. I settled in and got ready to take on my solid two weeks of solitude in Savannah, when on Friday afternoon, I completely lost my mind. I was leaving my office, on my way to the gym, when I saw that my fuel tank was empty. I pulled over to fill up, and I thought it was a shame that I wasn’t going anywhere for the weekend, and I was getting a little stir crazy in Savannah… so, at 5:45pm, like a normal person I turned right onto I-16 and went to the gym, I turned left onto I-16 and drove 658 miles and 10 hours to Louisville, Kentucky. Folks, I didn’t have a bag packed. I didn’t have a jacket. I didn’t check the weather. I didn’t do anything that a sane person would do. (Let’s note here that my apartment is 6 miles from where I work, but that the time, that seemed so far away, and I felt in my bones that I needed to go to Louisville, Kentucky.)

Do you know the rule of how women lie? Whatever we tell you, you can multiply it by two then add two to get the truth. Now… remember the rule. Men, it will be important to you for the rest of your lives. (“I ordered wings for lunch, but they were fatty so I only ate 4.” That means 10. “I’m going out with the girls, but I’m only going to have 1 drink.” Four. She’s going to have four drinks.) Guys and gals, remember the rule for this next statement: On my way to Kentucky, I may have lost my mind even further and spent the bulk of it crying, but I mean… only like twice. Remember co-pilot Brandon from the Chicago pizza? He may have gotten to be on the receiving end of two of those. Lucky guy.

In case you couldn’t tell, I have some ties to Kentucky. Growing up, I spent a lot of holidays there, and from November of 2012 until this past July, I called it home before moving to Savannah. So, I have a group of friends there, who were not expecting me, but very graciously agreed to go tackle a pizza with me that Saturday night. So, let’s fast-forward to the next day, where I actually tackle pizza. Co-pilot Brandon and I head out to meet our new co-pilots at Impellizzeri’s Pizza on Bardstown Road in Louisville. (Did y’all catch that? Yeah, Brandon didn’t know he was coming to Kentucky either, but like a champ, he rolled in around 1PM on Saturday after battling Snowmageddon for 9 hours from Milwaukee through Chicago and Indianapolis to Louisville.) We met our new co-pilots Tara, her two awesome daughters, and my friends Chris, Kara, and Katie. I called ahead since we were going to have a party of 8, but they told me that they wouldn’t take it. However, upon arrival, they saw that we had a large party and two little ones with us, and our 45 minute wait, magically became only about 20 minutes.

I’ve discovered at this point that I panic when I pick up the menu to find the pizza that I’ll be ordering. What if it isn’t there? What if they don’t make it anymore? What if I have to look like an idiot and explain to the server that I just drove 10 hours to eat this pizza, and I don’t care if it isn’t on the menu, they are damn well going to make it for me? I pulled out the menu and began anxiously searching for my pizza. Bingo. There it was. Crisis averted.

One thing I’ve learned so far through my pizza journey is that I am not a picky eater. However, everyone else I know seems to be. Carla, from the Georgia pizza, as you may recall won’t eat iceberg lettuce. Brandon won’t eat tomatoes or onions. Carrie and Gina don’t eat meat. I eat all of these things. I like all of these things (in fact, I like all of them together). So, when there is a pizza on the menu that I actually get to share with the person I’m with, that’s kind of awesome! Well, Impellizerri’s had (almost) just that. See Zagat’s photo and review below:

Kentucky- Meats Pizza at Impellizeri's in Louisville

Impellizeri’s makes its pizzas with two layers of toppings and two layers of cheese, and for that fact alone we understand why it’s so popular. It applies the “you can’t have too much of a good thing” mentality to its meats pizza, topped with pepperoni, homemade Italian sausage, ham, bacon and housemade meatballs. Here’s hoping all that meat doesn’t flop off when you pick it up.

Now, on to MY photo and review:

Kentucky 2

Now, you have to specify when you order the Meats Pizza that you want it Sicilian style. It’s an extra $2, and it’s worth an extra $20 easily. This monster of a pizza was eight slices, of which I could only take down one.  If you read this blog, I’m assuming that you know me and that you know that I’m 5’3″ and 115 pounds… however… I can decimate a Thanksgiving spread before you’ve even figured out how to arrange your plate. It might not by my most attractive quality, but hey… I assure you, I have more appealing attributes. However, on this trip, I was fortunate enough to have Brandon and Chris along, and together, they allow me to talk trash to almost anyone I desire in a 60 mile radius. In fact, I can pick fights with perfect strangers then run and go hide behind the two of them and get away with it. (To date, I’ve yet to do more than use them as guiding beacons through Oaks/Derby.)

One of my self-written rules for this pizza journey is that I cannot change anything about how the pizza is supposed to be ordered. It MUST come exactly as described by Zagat. So, if I had my choice, this pizza would have come sans sausage, but as that is now how it came on the menu, I didn’t get my way… and since I was sharing with Brandon and Chris, I’m pretty sure that I would have been outvoted on removing a meat from the Meats Pizza anyway.

Long story short, this pizza was fantastic, but it was so loaded down with meat and cheese, there wasn’t a lot of sauce. I ordered a side of marinara, and it made it pretty close to perfect. If it wouldn’t have had the sausage, I would have called it perfect. Co-pilot Brandon, however, deemed it the best pizza that he’s ever had, so if you like the meaty pizzas, this one is for you!  I made it through my one slice, Brandon and Chris each had 3, and one went home with Chris and Kara.

Next up, hopefully for real this time… Charleston, South Carolina.


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